About 5 weeks ago the school I applied to offered me a scholarship to pursue the IB Diploma there. However, there's still a substantial amount of balance to the fees. After a discussion with my dad, we decided to contact an acquaintance of my dad's for sponsorship of the balance.

Several faxes and a few weeks after, he extended his willingness to sponsor. Grateful as we were, dad had asked me to ring him up and just have a chat with him. Since I hate talking on the phone, I had put it off until Thursday this week but the days before that were not without constant provoking from my dad.

On the dreaded day, I had asked the teacher who has helped me with the application and sponsor process to be there during my phone conversation with the sponsor. It's a comfort zone thing, in case I ran out of words, I could just hand the phone over to him.

The school assistant got me through the sponsor using the phone in the principal's office and here is somewhat how the early part of the conversation went:

Me: Hello Mr, I'm Ant.
Mr: Yeah...
Me: (Smiling) How are you?
Mr: Why are you ringing me up?
Me: I'd just like to thank you for your willingness to sponsor.
Mr: But I haven't told you anything about it. Where did you hear?
Me: From my dad.
Mr: When?
Me: About a week ago.
Mr: Oh. There's not much I can do at the moment as I'm going to England in a few days. I've been in contact with my lawyer regarding the funding and I have told him to send you a letter about it so you should wait for the letter....

He went on about some other stuff. I was speechless at the rather harsh response from him. All I had in mind was "Is this the sort of person I have to deal with over the next several years?"

I wasn't paying much attention to what he was saying after that but I did catch semblances of congratulations, IB Diploma, school and letter. Then this line from him hit me right in the face - "Obviously I'm not funding everything and your dad will have to do something about the balance."

I could feel tears building up in my eyes. Still I listened until he ended the conversation. My teacher was watching and I had my fingers covering my eyes after I had put the phone down. He asked, "Problem?". The last thing that I wanted to happen to me that day occured - I cried for several minutes that my teacher put down his handkerchief on my side but I didn't take it.

He sat there until I finally spoke. I told him about the conversation. He said, "So your dad got the wrong idea?" From the phone conversation, obviously he did.

He: Did he indicate how much he is going to fund?
Me: No. He just said he's not going to pay everything.
He: Whatever it is, it's not 100 percent?
Me: *nods* Who's going to fund the balance?
He: We can't tell until we find out the balance. Maybe your dad needs to ring him up tonight and find out what's going on.
Me: *nods and started crying again*
He: Look, you have come a long way since about half a year ago. Don't give in yet. It's not time to give in.

Unfortunately I felt helpless and didn't stop crying. Finally he said, "Do you want me to leave you alone now?" and I nodded. He patted me on the shoulder and closed the door of the principal's office. I spent a while crying in there until I felt like I could bear it.

I got out and he asked "Is there anything else I can do at the moment?" I said no and walked to the front of the school to wait for the school bus.

Friday morning I rang up my dad at his office and told him about the phone conversation. Dad then rang the sponsor from home in the evening to clarify a few things. The sponsor extended an apology to me for speaking rather harshly to me on Thursday, he said he hasn't been well as of late. He also extended his congratulations to me and said that he will fund ALL of the fees balance.

What a relief. I am going to the school after all.

First impression matters but I do forgive him, mainly because he is my sponsor and my dad's acquaintance. Plus, it's really nonsensical to hold grudge against a 76 years old man who is, without any disrespect, three quarters to the grave.

If anything, I learnt that behaviour does not necessarily depict personality. Screw the fact that psychology tells you the opposite.